i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
