everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
