Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
