its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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