I am puke
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
