I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
