Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
