Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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