you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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