you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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