Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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