im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
