just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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