I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
