I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
