dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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