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just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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