you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
