Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
