that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
