So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
