She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
