What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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