Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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