i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will be naked everywhere
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
