im drinking this country out of the recession.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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