Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you win again, gameday.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
