Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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