its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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