I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
