hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
