I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
