Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
