But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
