I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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