This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
