I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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