I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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