billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
