Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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