A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
