i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
