can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
