i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
