apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
