I'm eating all of the evidence.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
