i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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