I love black thongs
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
