He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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