The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need to sanitize my soul.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
